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30 June 2005 @ 08:51 am
Co-worker going-away party  
Is it rude to not attend a going-away party for a co-worker? The person throwing it is asking for $15 for food + gift. I have spoken to this girl maybe 5 times, more like a "Hi, how are you" when passing in the hall. My boss is going, but is it rude it i don't? I don't want to spend $15... :(
Current Mood: worriedworried
xphilomenax on June 30th, 2005 01:00 pm (UTC)
I personally thing, if you did not work closely with this person, you should not have to throw in $15 for the food and/or the gift. You can still attend, but you shouldn't have to spend the $15 on the person. I've never had to throw in for someone's going away because my boss/department always foot the bill (the bonus of working in a hospital).

dont feel that its rude, and dont worry about it.
Married to the Mobthug_wife on June 30th, 2005 01:04 pm (UTC)
that is a lot of money for a party like that!
what are they going to feed you? caviar and cristal?

i don't think it would be necessary.
or let them know that you will drop by to "pay your respects", but you won't be eating.
that is, if its during work hours.
if not, i wouldn't feel that you have any obligation to take out any of your own personal time.
Alicealice_bunnie on June 30th, 2005 01:36 pm (UTC)
I was going to ask if they had an open bar for that much. :p
Married to the Mobthug_wife on June 30th, 2005 01:48 pm (UTC)
i hate that!
i don't drink at all - so its a constant struggle when people want me to pay for an open bar.
how hard is it to understand that i don't want to pay 25 dollars for 2 hours of water and soda?!
*kaonamai on June 30th, 2005 03:04 pm (UTC)
hahaha. well it's for the gift too. i decided i'm not gonna go anyway.
Queen Shebaqueensheba on June 30th, 2005 01:30 pm (UTC)
I think that's kind of a lot for a coworker you're not close to. I'd say it would be fine to not attend.
mystril on June 30th, 2005 01:31 pm (UTC)
It depends on the person throwing the party. If it's the office busybody and you think it might come back to haunt you in the future, you might be better off just paying the money and going to the party for a few minutes.

But in most cases, it should be fine that you don't give money for a goodbye gift for someone you don't know well.

In other situations: if you want to give less, just say, "Just put this in for the gift, because I won't be able to attend the party," or let her know that your budget doesn't allow you to give more this month. Though the second option is really only good if the person involved is your friend or can keep things to herself.
*kaonamai on June 30th, 2005 03:05 pm (UTC)
it's the girl's boss, who i don't really have anything to do with.

mystril on June 30th, 2005 03:41 pm (UTC)
Ah, than it shouldn't be a problem. She was probably just inviting everyone to be polite.

I used to work in a smallish office and the people who were responsible for organizing parties were nasty gossips who would tell other people who gave what for gifts, etc. I used to give money at times, just to get off the "Have you given for So-and-so's shower gift?" email list.
Gwenglittagwen on June 30th, 2005 01:39 pm (UTC)
Is it during work hours? I'd just throw in the "i'm going to be too busy with such and such account to attend.." thing, and leave it at that. They should understand.
tappanga: Dean Drinkingtappanga on June 30th, 2005 03:01 pm (UTC)
I've done exactly the same thing.

Helps if you walk the halls quickly in the hour before the party with lots of papers in your hands.
*kaonamai on June 30th, 2005 03:02 pm (UTC)
yeah the only thing is that my boss is going and she knows how much work i have to do.
tappangatappanga on June 30th, 2005 03:28 pm (UTC)
If she presses you (which I'm sure she won't) then tell her you barely knew co-worker x and didn't feel comfortable going to the party, and used the time to get ahead for the weekend.
*kaonamai on June 30th, 2005 03:43 pm (UTC)
the room it's being held in was moved to my floor. now i am not sure if i should just go and not eat anything. :/
the messiah is my sistertiaralynn on June 30th, 2005 02:53 pm (UTC)
I'm dealing with a similar situation, but this is for a baby shower for a woman I work closely with but don't know personally very well at all. The cost for food and cake is $18... without a gift. I just can't see myself spending $30+ (realistically, with a decent gift) on this woman.

It's probably bad PR, but I don't care. It's insane to expect everyone to pay that, especially at a place where the meal itself would be only $8-$12 if we were allowed to order our own meals.
hq447 on June 30th, 2005 09:01 pm (UTC)
$18??!?!?!!?! Yeah, I'd be right at my desk.
You can try and try, you can't be me...nysfinest on June 30th, 2005 03:14 pm (UTC)
I say don't go. If asked, you can just tell them you don't really know her. $15 is steep...plus you don't know her. NO WAY! They are out of their mind.

If you really feel bad and need a good lie, tell them you have an errand to run or a Dr's appointment.
Kerin with a silent "K"erinkathleen on June 30th, 2005 08:47 pm (UTC)
I think it's pretty rude of the person throwing the party to be soliciting money from the entire office...so no, definitely NOT rude for you to politely decline to attend.
The Apathetic Feministmuffy on June 30th, 2005 09:08 pm (UTC)
If you don't feel comfortable going because you don't know the guest of honor well, don't go. You could inadvertently make the GOH feel awkward, and that, in my opinion, would be rude.

But, then I am a warped individual.